


Sleep

by vexedCrustacean



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, I wrote this for myself, M/M, karkats pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 05:33:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14826281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vexedCrustacean/pseuds/vexedCrustacean
Summary: Karkat can’t sleep, he's too wrapped up in his own head to. a soft knock at his door changes that.“Theres something wrong about waking up to pitch black, something that stirs the panic deep within you. it crawls down your spine one vertebrae at a time chipping away at any inkling of confidence you were harboring. and while waking to the void easily makes your heart race, there are few feelings that could match the pure unadulterated horror that comes with dreaming. places so familiar, or maybe not, and faces long dead and mourned, or maybe never met. your hive, your lusus, your friends. and this is why you won’t sleep. Time knows how to cut the deepest lacerations, the kind that eventually scar but never truly stop hurting. But it’s easier to ache in reality than have the past infest your brain through dreams.”





	Sleep

Theres something wrong about waking up to pitch black, something that stirs the panic deep within you. it crawls down your spine one vertebrae at a time chipping away at any inkling of confidence you were harboring. and while waking to the void easily makes your heart race, there are few feelings that could match the pure unadulterated horror that comes with dreaming. places so familiar, or maybe not, and faces long dead and mourned, or maybe never met. your hive, your lusus, your friends. and this is why you won’t sleep. Time knows how to cut the deepest lacerations, the kind that eventually scar but never truly stop hurting. But it’s easier to ache in reality than have the past infest your brain through dreams.

So while you lay in bed at god knows what hour staring off into the black nothing, the tightness in your chest is welcomed. The heels of your hands rub the sleep from your eyes, you let the clock keep ticking. For Karkat Vantas the clock was always ticking, it never slowed down. You hated the rhythmic tick that came with the moving of the second hand, the slight clunk with the hour. You hated time. There was always too little or too much. Never the right amount. Not that even having the right amount of time would change a thing about you or your life. You were cursed and that was the end of it. Or at least you’re sure you were, what else could lead to such a barrage of bad luck? You were cursed and life really wouldn’t give you a break because of it.

That’s existence you guess, a series of bad breaks until you reach a final untimely end. Whens, whys, and wheres and are all strewn about the void like small variant dice in the inky confines of magic 8 balls. Its all random, its all chance. And you have no chance left to spare. Its your own fault so you really shouldn’t complain. You know what you did wrong. You laughed at the idea of a cursed computer program, how could it be real? And against friends urgings to stop you ran the program, in hindsight you should’ve listened, I mean he did write the program himself. But you were too hot headed, too hellbent on proving yourself right to listen. And now they’re all dead. Your lusus, your friends, your entire planet perished because of your mistake.

You guess its not too bad, besides the fact that you’re a lonely no good sack of bile flying through the void on a cold empty rock. Besides the fact that Vriska is breathing down everyones neck every hour of the day cycle to train, besides the fact that the only person you could’ve shared your grievances with is a homicidal clown who used and abused your diamonds. At times you could talk to Kanaya, but shes mostly preoccupied with rose. The humans. You nearly forgot the humans. You made them, technically. They spawned from your stolen universe and now rushing to make their very own. Fragile soft beings with blood as bright and revolting as the sludge pumping through your very own veins. Almost as if a constant reminder of your mistake. You gave their universe cancer. Now the cancer flows through them into their session, and back to you. The few times you gave into Vriska’s training she had you go against the human you’ve come to despise and adore the most, Dave.

Dave is one of the most bizarre beings you ever had the displeasure of meeting. He’s attractive in the way you guess an alien would be, although really you aren’t that different. He’s funny in the most backwards frustrating way possible. He’s smart, as aggravating as that is, he’s a genius behind that aloof hipster bullshit he tries to pull off. And he understands you, despite all the bickering and shit slinging you understand each other. You interact more than maybe the rest of the meteors inhabitants know, using still nights to watch a movie or a lull day to work in can town. Shooting back and forth jokes, insults, and brief stomach churring touches. The sweet gentility behind a shoulder nudge or the sickening graze of his fingers. Yes you hate Dave Strider, But you pity him too.

And so as the clock ticks on you find the soft rapping at your door jolting you from your stupor. The softest voice piercing what little sleep you had left in your system.

“hey Karkat you awake?” his voice sounded so fragile. And you can only grunt in response. Your door slowly swings open as Dave pokes his head in and you sit up to get a better look at him.

“shit sorry I woke you up didn’t i” you can see his eyebrows arched over his shades. “I’m sorry ill go”

“hold up get back here you douche whats wrong” your voice cuts the silence and you can see him visibly relax. Something happened and that’s the inly reason he would search you outside of your normal activities. You can see it in his stance, you can hear it in his voice. Dave lingers in the doorway a moment more before stepping in and closing the door behind him. You beacon him forward and with every step you can see the crumbling foundations of his façade. He stiffly sits besides you and with only a soft hand placed on his shoulder he’s melting into you. Tears soak your shirt, hiccup and gasp for breath escape his lips, and a slow circles are rubbed into his back. And like a the tides his emotions slowly receded back to the deeps of himself as he pulled himself away from your arms.

“i’m sorry” dave struggles for a steady tone but you can still hear the tears clinging to every word.

“shut up” you know its harsh but it needed to be said. Arms snake back around him and crush him into you in a firm hug. And he lets it happen. His fingers clinging to you, face pressed into the crook of your neck. And it seems like the clock, for once, stops its ticking as you both drift off into a slumber.

Theres something right about waking up in Dave’s arms, something that stirs the warmth deep inside you.

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry im gay and i wanted to write this


End file.
